I completed the whole set for two weeks which was really lovely, calming and generally left me with a sense of Que Sera Sera, what will be will be.
I then thought I would see what it felt like to just do a couple of the practices in the set, fully intending to work my way through a mix of all four practices.
What happened though was that after only 3 days of doing only the first and last practices my anxiety left me, that knot of tension that had existed in my belly for countless years just wasn’t there any more.
Such a sense of freedom, happiness, well being and many other emotions and so much room for expansion and growth…….A.M.A.Z.I.N.G…..
This was the first Sadhana practice that I’ve completed outside away from my home. That felt good deciding to and even better following through. I’m receiving really great feedback from nature at the moment, a sign to venture out more and soak it all up. I have felt calmer this month than I have for many months, no real signs of anxiety or worry and dare I say, I’ve felt quite chilled and my creative desires have stayed and continue to call to me. I am listening and responding. I really liked the Vaidika Shanti Mantra and the Aham Prakasha Kriya Series, despite the arm aches…. 😊 I completed the full set for the first week, then variation 1 and 2 together consistently after that. I’m still using Aham Prema as my Guru Mantra Meditation, mostly in the car or when it just pops into my thoughts on its own. Due to an allergic reaction affecting my eyes, I have not practiced this week other than with Mantra, I still feel a sense of peace.
I thoroughly enjoyed this sadhana, it has been one of my favourite sets of practices so far. The series of kriyas in particular felt very powerful energetically and physically, both in an obvious (the arm burn!!) and more subtle way. I mostly only start my day with this one, or a couple of times I would do it in the afternoon for a bit of a pick me up. But I think doing it at night or before bed would be a bit too energising and overstimulating for mind and body. The mantras are beautiful… I find myself humming or singing along to Vaidika Shanti throughout the day because it has more of that melodic feel and gets stuck in my head alot! Here are some common words/emotions that I jotted down in my journal this month 🙂
– Sense of lightness – Intentional
– Powerful – Reasuured
– Connection – Trusting
– Energised – Grateful
– Joyful – Euphoric
– Strong – Confident
Due to personal circumstances in my life at the moment, I have struggled to have any time or space to myself and my daily practice has had to change significantly. I was hardly able to practice this Sadhana, unfortunately, as i was really looking forward to this one. When i did practice it, I felt energised and empowered. When life gives me the opportunity again, i would like to work with this practice again. My daily practice this month varied from day to day, depending on what was going on. I mostly did yin and MFR at home when I had an opportunity, and i started going out to studio classes as i found that this was the best way to create some boundaries. My meditation practice wasn’t as regularly as it has been the previous 6 months, and again, it would be something that i would have to slip in when i was outside of the house. I started going to swims and saunas and would do my meditation whilst sitting in the sauna. It left me feeling light and calm. Not being able to keep up my regular Sadhana as i have for the past 6 months really played with me emotionally at the beginning, feeling resent and annoyed, but from there i developed some strength to pick myself back up and see what lessons were there to be learnt. I came back to patience, gratitude, empathy, adaptability, compassion to myself and others. This month i have been craving the strong physical practice more than ever so that is where i am finding my sweet spot at the moment 🙂
I did the full set of kriya for the first week, and then choose to do one or two kriya. I usually did this at night (only spare time where I could completely be present in the practice) followed with a meditation. I found I wanted more physical movement in the way of flow, followed by meditation but would sometimes add a kirya in too. With the roller coaster ride of a month, breath practice is what I needed! I found it interesting that I have gone back to my original mantra of Sat Chit Ananda.
Overall reflecting on the time that has passed, I feel like I have floated through with a sense of calm, trusting that all is well and leaning into the faith of unknown.
While I couldn’t do Aham Prakasha 1- variation 1, due to carrying tension in my shoulders and traps making me feel unbalanced, I worked with the rest on different days and they felt amazing. They were strong and I’m sure my back and shoulder muscles are bigger than ever now, thanks Kate. I did some reflecting the other day and I realised that I’ve never felt as connected to my body and to myself as I do now. To be Ok with who I am and where I am in this exact moment and be ok and to look at how I now react to comments, situations and events that happen, are completely different to how I would have. While the journey is still on going and while at times its been hard, I can imagine going back to who I used to be.
I felt light not only physically but energetically after this sadhana practice. But after a few weeks of completing this practice. I notice I was filled with angry. No reason. I was just angry. I had all this angry in me and after one practice all I wanted to do was scream. So, I did. I removed the bolster from under me and I scream into my bolster for as long and as loud as I could. I stopped practicing for a few days to notice whether it was the practice and sure enough I was no longer filled with angry after a few days. When I started to practice again this angry came back. I allowed myself to notice this angry. It was in my upper chest and throat, and it wanted me to scream. All my body wanted and craved was to scream. I wanted to stand on top of the mountains and just scream. This emotion just wanted to exist my body. It wanted to get out and be expressed. I allowed myself to dig a little deeper. What was deeper then the angry. The emotion of sadness arose, and tears filled my eyes. But I did not know why. I decided to allow what was even deeper than sadness to rise. Helplessness showed itself and all the times in my life when I felt helpless and all I wanted to do was scream but I couldn’t. I did not allow my body to express those emotions at the time. So, they sat inside me, heavy and weighting me down, waiting for me to be ready, to notice them and let them free. But now after practice, things are moving inside and changing. There is no space for them now and it is time to express them. It was time for them to leave my body and how they wanted to leave was by me screaming. My body told me that. So, I screamed.
This sadhana was one consistent during the month, although it looked different each day as I felt into what was needed & trusted my intuition to be the guide. I also played with different variations & like Coral fell into feeling connected to V1 & V3 for the last couple of weeks.
I started to add an oracle card & moon calendar to my daily practice, there was one that came up quite a few times, which was “Take a break, a lifetime not a season”.
Which is relevant as i thought perhaps I was replacing the Airbnb with YTT, but realised this is what is calling, letting go of my old home is making space & this is for life not just a season & will continue to learn, find my voice & style to share with others. A conversation I had on Friday morning before we got together confirmed my wanting to teach and go forth with a totally open heart.
Though there was one day I was totally unsure what to do, was torn between nourishment, movement or shaking the shit out. Was frustrated, emotional & drained, went with a toe tuck, reclined butterfly and meditation laying down. Didn’t feel any less drained but happy that I didn’t roll back over & curl up in bed.
My god my arms!!!! is what I thought every time I sat to do this practice, I only did the I am Light after the very last one but I did take a little pause in between each one. I enjoyed it the most outside on the patio at sunrise. I had a few week there where I didn’t practice as I ended up with a sinus infection that knocked me around a lot. The kids joined in a few times but didn’t stick around long (I guess their little arms got sore hahahaha) I enjoy all these practices even when they make me uncomfortable. There is something soothing about stopping and taking the time to do something that is beneficial for yourself on a level other than physical (like going to the gym). I have noticed however I am more inclined to just be at peace with the shit show that is floating around me and the massive demand on me from the men in my life. I have just found out the ex (husband 1) is now in the private clinic (which is probably where the current partner belongs too). The girls dad (husband 2) has just taken a job that involves a lot of travel so now I need to change my working routine. Anyway I am grateful for my practices, they bring me peace.
I found myself really letting go throughout this practice. I’ve added a cleansing breath into my consecration and I like to play with the retention of breath, it slows me down and unavoidably connects me to my breath and the bodily processes that continue from there. The Vaidika Shanti mantra had more of a dreamy feel than previous mantras that we have chanted and so it was natural to drift into it from a state of stillness in consecration. Although I found it hard to learn initially, it had a beautiful flow once I wasn’t thinking about it. I played around with the Prakasha Kriya series throughout the month, initially doing the whole series as we were shown and then breaking it down to 1 or 2 for 5 minutes each. My favourite combo was the first and last. In fact, they were always in there, this is probably a long way of saying I avoided the third one. But good to have it in my toolbox >insert winking emoji<. Jokes aside, there was something about the first one that really drew me in. I could feel that energy emanating from Jupiter finger and coiling around my head, then swirling down around my body as it dissipates like soft rain. Magical! As I reflect, I can't help but think of Shera, Warrior Princess on her white horse harnessing her superpowers, (kids of today, don't know what they're missing!) So, again, a lovely continuation of the whole practice, maybe that's where the third seemed to stump me, it drew me out of that gentle flow, I definitely didn't manage it for 5 minutes. Overall, nutritious and delicious, I look forward to exploring those practices further.
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